Sunday, August 2, 2015

Plan, Execute, Make a mistake, take a deep breath, go back to plan A

Okay, so I'm not really in a very good position right now, but it's not really that bad. The problem is, and exactly what makes it bad , is that if I stay like this,  say for the next 2 years, I won't be able to turn things around. Or if I can, it will be 10 times harder.

Wake up calls are good things, and similar to real life scenarios of : being abruptly waken up in the middle of your sleep, in the wee hours of the night, the first reaction is irritation and discomfort. Which usually lingers for some 5 to 10 minutes depending on the reason, then the reason will slowly sink in, and then you will slowly became very grateful that you woke up, given that it's a good reason , for example: if you are late for work.

Discomforts are not always bad too. I recall that incident in the workplace, 8 years ago, when there is this office mate, who acts like he is as cool as a rock star.  I learned that he is  beyond his 30s, and has been working for the company on the same position for almost 10 , going 11 years, that time I met him, I started to see him differently. He was very comfortable there.

On the first company that I worked with, I encountered a very very unfair person. She was the reason for all the issues in our team. She was our team lead. Someone who can't even manage 5 people in a team, I no longer have a term for it, so let's just stay with the term "unfair". Because she made my stay there very uncomfortable, I started looking elsewhere. The whole journey ended here, in my current company. I was able to over come some of my fears and dis-ability ( meaning, things that I cannot do ), all because I became uncomfortable. I guess, that is one upside.

Now, my  current discomfort comes from my financial issues. Or should I say, "our" financial issue,  meaning, my husband's and I, and then my family's and I...  then my sibling's and I.

It is very uncomfortable, having to think about paying debts, specially when you are surrounded with people who are doing well, when it comes to that department, when all you want to do is ...... well, I already forgot what I'd rather want to do at this time.

I had to remind myself a thousand times, how comparing yourself to other people will not help. My situation is unique, and so are my chances, and so are God's plan for me, but being only human, it is very difficult not to.

So I went to a very quiet place 3 days ago , in the hopes that  I can hear my thoughts.

Or course, I stopped walking just near that tree.. because my son is calling me back heheheheehe
I am hoping that the answer is just here under layers of tangled skeins of fiber. Of course, I know that I have to sell some of them, if not all of them.

Or maybe, it is somewhere in the horizon..

But whatever it is, I know that I will look back on this day, and tell myself that it's a good thing, that I woke up and became uncomfortable, although I am really not sure how it's going to happen.

It feels as if that I was being reminded by Him, the Guy above, about something that I just missed. I know that in my heart,  there are things in there that is corrupting my thoughts. I am not yet suicidal, the fact that I am fighting and working for my goals is proof that I don't want to die just yet, but there are times, when I envy the dead.

They no longer have to deal with all these things, that never seem to work. Although, there are people who does not have a single cent of debt, and yet, I honestly don't see them everyone of them happy. Of course, there are people whom I knew, who died at a young age, and they might be wanting to strangle me to death now, if they hear me talk like this. It is very ungrateful to talk like that when you are alive, knowing that life is the best gift of all.

So what do I do now?

Plan, Execute, 
Make a mistake, 
take a deep breath, 
then go back to plan A

I guess snapping out of it, and going back to where I left off, is part of the equation. The only problem with me, is that I felt like I kept on going back to the same spot.

So tomorrow, I will go back to lining my bags.

Now, lining these bags, will not pay the amount that I need to pay,  in fact, it will not help me at all, aside from the thought that, having them lined and happy will make them functional, so therefore I can remove them from that eye-sore spot of unwanted things, in that corner of our room.

I plan to give away these bags, to people in our compound, just for the sake of having them out of my house. I don't dare give these away as a raffle, to prevent that incident 3 years ago, when someone complained about the items he/she received for free, from me.

So , a little bit of drama there...

Benefits of Washing Old and Recycled Yarn

Here is a project which I finished 6 years ago. I called it Snowy White Shrug.

I used 3 skeins of  Lana Liza Baby Merino. I only bought 3 because it is expensive, 350 pesos each skein.I bought them in Dreams Glorietta.

Sadly, this project, is never used, and because I stored the project in a corner our cabinet. After a few months, the project became a dull yellow, no longer the pretty creamy off white. It is made of animal fiber, this is merino blend.

I frogged the work, and got one dirty odd ball of yarn. I almost throw it away and I regret buying the expensive yarns. After frogging the shrug, I consider this yarn as recycled.

I decided to see if washing it will do it some good. So after washing, it became this:

All the fluffiness is restored somehow after washing it and adding fabric conditioner. So I guess if it's a real piece of clothing, that is how you will wash it.

It's equivalent to 3 balls of merino yarn, and I'm still wondering what project to make out of it.

Mini Vacation

I took a vacation with my husband and son, this time to Morong, Bataan. Then we went to Subic, and visited my folks and his folks. We spent 4 days away from our routine.

 So I was not able to update my bag linings, and well, damaged our budget again. I still feel that it's all worth it.

random shots of our stay-cation

we tried the mirror maze
This is our impromptu, not so planned but a very much discussed trip. hahahahaha

I realized some things about this trip:

1. Since we our couch potatoes ,half the time, it is just so awkward. But , I know somewhere, that there is a traveler deep inside my husband, buried underneath several layers of fat.  hahahhahah But me? I really cannot say. At this point,  I just wanted to leave my comfort zone, and that caused nothing but disaster.

I realized that I have to love what I am doing first, before I can go further.

2. Traveling with a 3 year old, is insane, simply because I can stop being a Mom. My son likes to run, and while there is so much risk in letting him just do what he wanted to do, I had to learn how to let him be.

3. We didn't pack properly. And that is one thing that I learned , in a disastrous way.  I wanted something spontaneous, but I guess, it will  only work if we didn't bring a child with us.

4. We need a camera so we can take better pictures, but then I'm not in a hurry, because I might end up just taking pictures and not really focusing on breathing the air . Besides, I cannot afford it yet.

So, I guess, it really takes a while to shake off the awkwardness and fear....

I can get used to this though...
Or this...
We only just started breaking free of the comfort zone:

So, I think I'll start this week with finishing the wretched bag linings.... bwhahahahaha

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Day 2: Lining more bags and adding zippers

Since Day 1 is successful, I decided that I CAN LINE THEM ALL UP in 20 days. Remember my recycling projects last year? Scarf to Bag. It took a full year for me put the lining. I did it today and it took me only a few hours...

Currently, my favorite bag as of right now.

That is the bad thing about procrastinating, most of those things are easy to do, and yet we prolonged  doing it thinking that it is not as easy.

I needed to remove these old FOs from our house, put them to use, give them away or frog them completely , because not only is our house overflowing with yarns, it is also overflowing with FOs, which are left unused.  What's the point of making these items if we won't use them?

Today I made the lining for these three bags:

Summertime sweetie: I made a mistake on the measurements.. so I didn't finish it today.

Super Scrap bag. I finished lining them up. But the lining is really just so awful lol

Basket weave purse. I finished lining this bag , as well as putting a zipper to it.

Violet Basket weave bag... I lined this in 1 hour. ahhahhha  I added the blue edging to make it more interesting. I realized what I don't like that much about this bag. It is made of acrylic.

Here they are.. lined, zipped, and happy! I just wanted them lined so the linings of these bags are not as nice as the first two bags that I lined. Anyway.. I'm in a hurry... so...

Monday, July 27, 2015

Brutal Honesty : Act Your Wage

I am not a fan of R&B and hip hop. But I don't live under a rock, so at least I know the names of the famous singers, and recognize their songs etc. I came across this article about 50 Cent.  Photo credit to Reuters
I think it's impressive for someone famous to admit , in brutal honesty, that his glamorous super expensive lifestyle is manufactured and not real.  I am impressed that he has the courage to admit, that most of his jewelry and cars are borrowed.  I don't see it as a shameful thing to do, actually, it's quite impressive for a celebrity.

50 Cent is a celebrity, and in their world, it's a necessity to dress the part, and act the part. So that is understandable.

 I  came across these photos ( I think they are called memes ), which captured my thoughts for the day.

Here's more:

I'm not a celebrity, but I also encounter people who seem to have a need to fake a lifestyle. Those "projected lifestyles"  are commonly seen in Facebook posts etc. I have to admit that I also once felt the need to keep up with lifestyles I've observed in Facebook,until I got a hold of myself.

I realized that most of our frustrations in life came from our lack of honesty to ourselves.

Thursday, July 23, 2015

How to clean dirty yarn..

I didn't buy these, these are free yarns Kuya Miner gave me, during my yarn hoarding from Rosario eight years ago. Yes, 8!

Dirty Cakes of Yarns

Dirty , Smelly , Dusty Yarns

You see, I was am a yarn hoarder. I will buy and buy yarns, when I fancy it, having a lot of ideas and potential projects using the yarn. However, my work and my life will take odd turns,  then I will  forget that I have those yarns.  Then things will be better, then  I will be inspired again, so I will find another yarn to buy, and it goes on and on , until I woke up having one room full of yarns and books.

Being a good customer, meaning I hoard,sometimes, sellers are nice to me. They give me freebies. The seller in Lacion Rosario gave these to me. These were included on my purchases of 8 kgs of cotton yarn from Rosario.

I put them aside, since I didn't know then, how to clean yarns. I have other yarns which are clean, so why bother with these dirty cakes? But I dont want to throw them away. So these  remained unused for 8 years.

Wina  once shared in her blog, that washing the actual yarn is a way to clean it. 

So, after many years, I finally realized that these 2 cakes of yarn will remain dirty and unused if I just let them be. I don't want to see them again, so I might as well use them up :)

How to clean dirty yarn..

1. Wind the yarn into hanks:

You can use the yarn swift, a kniddy knoddy or use the back of a chair, whichever works for you.

NOTE: The yarns also smell like they were dipped on dirty water. Eeewww.

2. You have to tie some parts with scrap yarns, quite tightly.

3. Soak them overnight or for at least 6 hours. I used Ariel, but just about any laundry soap will do. These are cotton yarn so you can wash them like you do cotton garments.

4. Wash them like you would normal clothes.. In Tagalog, kuskos, piga, kuskos lol Laba laba pag may time!

After overnight soaking 

NOTE: I haven't tried using stain remover, because I think the dirt is mostly dust. I haven't experienced washing those that are stained, for example  with soy sauce, etc.

5. Rinse with water, for as long as you like. For me, 3 times have done it. Be careful so the strands will not be tangled.

6. Rinse it one last time, this time with fabric conditioner soaked for 30 minutes.

7. Press or whirl, wring out the excess  water gently.

8. Hang to dry!

9. Feed it to your yarn winder and it should be just good as new...

Before: Light Brown and Off White

The colors were better after cleaning them.

dried hanks of clean nice smelling yarn

 And that is how you clean your dirty yarn.
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