Sunday, April 20, 2014

Tulips, anyone?

I love flowers, although it's not obvious. Yellow is not my favorite color, but for the longest time,  I really wondered what to make out of my Gold Yellow Carmencita yarn.

Pattern is found here:  Tulip.

I converted them to yellow tulips... I initially wanted 14 pieces of tulips, then I realized that they are very big and looks like corn cobs, so I decided to settle with only 5.

We  used them as photo props for our wedding album :)

The last photo is taken by CDWORX for our wedding album. Yellow gives a nice contrast to the picture don't you think ?

where it all started....

As of this writing, the Holy Week has just ended, and Christ has risen!

Tomorrow, I will report back to work.

It will take a few more days for my routine go back to usual, but today I know that something has changed.

I can't see the corners of our apartment. There are items and belongings thrown out everywhere. It's an eye sore.

I know that I have been purging for quite a while and while moving to a smaller apartment means lesser space than the house in Cubao, I can't help but wonder why I get to own a lot of things anyway.

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I still remember this book. Back in the 1990's, the company called Reader's Digest, sent out catalogs of their books. Websites are not yet the "in" thing and the service is called mail service.

I remember that my parents bought this book for my Ate. Not because she needs to know what to do in an emergency, but because she's about to go to Manila to study Nursing.

I forgot how much this book costs. This book was sent through the post office.

On the same catalogue, which I kept for a long time, I saw this book:

I remember asking my mom to buy this book too. I already know how to crochet during those times, I remember that I was 7 or 8. My mom taught me how to crochet because I was asking for it, seeing my older sisters crochet their projects. They learned the basic, but me, I went as far as copying her doillies.

Mom didn't buy this book. She said we don't have enough money for this and that we don't really need it.

Those are the days when children listen to their parents and accept the single reason that there isn't enough money. Back in those days, children don't feel hurt when they can't get what they want. Knowing that their parents does not have enough money is enough reason.

My life went on as usual.

When I graduated from college, I found this very book in the shelves of Booksale. I bought it right away. It was a heavy book and the one that I got looks slightly used. The price is 350 php.

I browsed through it when I got home and memories came flashing back. 

When I get to the pages about crochet, I realized that I won't really have much use for it even if Mom bought the book. We don't have money to buy yarns and we don't have those big sizes of crochet hook. The only hook I have is size 8 IMIA crochet hook and I only have 2 balls of crochet thread, which are by the way, left over from my older sister's projects. Mom is right, I won't be able to use it anyway.

Mom gave me 2 balls of Monaco Crochet thread in white and peach. I used up those thread to make doillies . After it ran out, there's nothing more to crochet.

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I remember that when I first arrived in Manila, my sister brought me with her, for some shopping spree. She also showed me her new tricolor gold bracelet. She said it's an investment and a gift she gave herself, because when we were kids , we don't have any real jewelry.

When my other older sister went to UAE, I asked her why she keeps on giving gadgets and watches to her kids. She said it's because we don't have those things when we were kids.

Whenever we bring Dylan to the mall, my husband will fondly grab something for Dylan from the toy stores or will buy one or two sets of happy meal or kiddie meal. I will often ask him why he keeps on buying toys when our child has more than enough, and he will also tell me that, when he was a child, he does not own any toy. So he wants to give Dylan the toys that he didn't have, period.

You see, when I was a child, I only own a handful of things and most of those are "hand-me-downs" from my older sisters. Whatever my older sisters own, they also got from some other relatives or given to them as gifts. Such is our life back then.

I am also guilty of this kind of reasoning. Although it was not really very clear to me, I know that unconsciously, I am also trying to make up for that day when Mom didn't buy me my craft book.

I ended up buying Php 250 000 worth of crafty stash ( or more ) in a span of 5 years. Well you know that part of the story.

Today, I acknowledge that this is probably one of the reasons why opening a yarn shop and pursuing crochet to more than just a hobby is very very impossible to ignore for me. Deep inside my heart, there was a child who didn't get the craft book that she wanted. That same child grew up , and so did her dreams.

Well, I snapped out of this impossible dream and obtained closure one way or another. I stopped buying and hoarding and although I still have with me all my yarns, I know that it was not the same case back in 2008.

I am not yet sure how to dispose of the yarns in the a way when I can really say that I made use of time and money I spent. Getting the money back when I offer to resell the yarns isn't really going to cut it. I know that there is something else that I need to do.

Well, I'll figure that out.

Any suggestions though?

Friday, April 18, 2014

Iron turned cold, what's next?

Days after our wedding, our life went back to it's usual routine. No more meet ups with dance instructors and numerous phone calls from suppliers. Of course, we finally went back to our usual diet too.

I promised myself that I will rest my hands and just relax. I know that when I get back to work, there are stats and other things that I need to catch up on. It so happened that after our wedding is the Holy Week here in the Philippines. So instead of going to an out of town trip for the ritualistic honeymoon we just spent time with love ones.

We brought the kids to the Zoobic Safari.

Those are real life crocodiles. We spent time with crocodiles for a change. I am not really a fan of wildlife experience with tigers and crocs, and preferred the nearby park where there are dolphins but we ran out of time. Maybe on our next visit.
Remember that I have my yarns here in Bataan. Those are sealed tightly and neatly organized in boxes. I am going back  to Manila today and yet I haven't touched a single skein of yarn.

I can finally say that after crocheting madly for dear life for the past few months, the iron finally turned cold. There is this awful feeling that I still have a lot of yarns and many other unfinished things to finish and yet, I lacked the enthusiasm to proceed.

Maybe I just need some time off.

Of course,  I will have to go back to my list of goals. The next in line is of course , the credit card debt. I have always been vocal about this and will not be ashamed to admit it.

Our credit card debt is  looking better than in 2012, but I don't need it to look better , I need it to disappear. So here are my thoughts.

I think I will literally live under a rock for the next few months until credit card is paid off. It's looking pretty hopeful this year than in 2012. But now, I know that I can focus on it more.

Paying your credit card does not mean, get all your money and pay to the bank. It does not work that way. It will only repeat the process, because when you used up all your money, you will swipe your card again.

The goal is to pay it off like you would a bill. This means trimming down on known luxuries and sticking to the basics too.

As for my crafty goals, yarn diet is looking good for this month. I plan to start on these projects when I got back in Manila.

Orchid and Dahlia.... which one first?

Meanwhile, I have 200 pending projects in Ravelry ahahahahahahah

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